Lazy is my Name & Nap Time is my Game.

satanicmingledotcum:

thewalkingdelrey:

i will always find a way out

ohmygod

alabasterbones:

i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice 

saddestblogger:

"hey i’m really full do you want the rest of my-"

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cumslayer:

cumslayer:

So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.

AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..

slenclerman:

*plays all your snapchats that i screenshotted at ur funeral*

me: haha hey guys do u dare me to eat this whole thing of ice cream
them: no
me: *shaking my head and chuckling* i cant believe you guys are making me do this
them: we're not
me: *eating right out of the thing* this is so wild you guys you're so fucked up for making me do this
naliest:

Am I doing this right

naliest:

Am I doing this right

hands down, still the best pick-up line i’ve heard in my life.

euo:

dont fall in love with people like me… i have a huge forehead irl

wigwams:

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HOOPLA